Your story reminds me of something that happened to me ages ago. I was Director of an organization on the non-white low-income side of my hometown (where I had grown up) and when I was in an all-white friend group of young women who were almost all a lot wealthier than me, some of them asked what they could bring to my organization as donations. The group got excited brainstorming until one of them asked where we were located. When I said the address (where I worked daily, about 2 miles from where I grew up), one of the others said loudly, "There? I'd never soil myself by going there."
She liked to write poetry. She got some type of grant from State of CA (though she was wealthy already). I never helped her because of that comment. It made my blood run cold.