Well — Tom. I was brutal to you for the simple reason that I said. I see one or more of this type of comment on nearly every article I see that is written by a female about violence against females, followed by several other categories of author and female or race/ethnic bias related topic. I used the identical language I see people who follow some of the “men’s rights” advocates use against women.
This platform Medium has a lot of sophisticated people on it with varying backgrounds. It isn’t all tech-oriented people with monolithic minds nor is it 100% ID politics ranters. Stephen Wolfram cross posts to it, I became involved because of Craig Newmark. There’s a whole group of really smart, clever, talented people writing on it.
So, the study you referenced in no way states that women rape men as often as men rape women. Nor does it say an equal number of men and women are raped. It says the current ratio based on their telephone survey is approximately 18 women to 1 men. What it did find was that the men who stated they had experienced one of six intimate partner violence related behaviors in the prior year of the survey had been victimized by a woman. So of the men’s victimizers out of the prior year, out of six different behaviors, only one of which was rape (between intimate partners, i.e. husband/wife, domestic partners, same-sex partners) — half of those were male, and half female. And the behavior where the women predominated was “non physical unwanted sexual contact.” If you saw the movie “Horrible Bosses,” it made fun of the female dentist boss played by Jennifer Aniston, making extreme innuendos and unwanted sexual advances to her male employee.
I also read articles where men stated they actually had been raped by women. Several men told stories of being either physically incapacitated or restrained and sexually abused by women in an extreme way. They were extremely traumatized and humiliated by this. So this crime clearly does occur, but it seems to require a lot of initiative on the woman’s part and I’ll grant you — maybe there are some women as sick and twisted as the male rapists who pursue serial careers of doing these crimes because they are evil, sick and twisted. The female serial killer Aileen Wournos seems to have had some sexual component to her crimes against men. It makes me sick. It makes me sick the same way as I felt when I heard a young man talk about being at a rave where a young woman came up to him, made a crude sexual advance, and grabbed his crotch. This is disgusting and in my generation would have been unheard of. I never saw nor heard of any female doing this and I did have passes made at me by females. Gay females never pursued any aggressive, crude, scary and threatening behavior the way a certain percentage of guys have done for what would seem to be: all of human history up to now.
So the thing is. It’s not that this stuff doesn’t happen and the fact that it’s coming out more in the public doesn’t mean anything good. It means that some women are now adopting behaviors common to a certain number of males (primarily against women and children, but also against other men).
As to (I do think you really did think women rape men as often as men rape women) women doing harmful things to children including sexual molestation, all of us who’ve been anywhere around law enforcement, counseling and high risk social services know that there are toxic females out there who are unbelievably horrible and should not be allowed free rein to destroy the lives of innocent children. As “Just” said, it’s like “My holocaust is not worse than your holocaust.”
My objection was: this author’s article was about the holocaust of the women she’d loved, and her own realization that she’d had horrible treatment because she was bisexual and this seemed to give some people an inspiration to do more and worse to her. She did try to include a male friend who’d been jumped and beaten. Since the guy had his clothes on and it was non-sexual, it was that kind of awful. Whereas the rape situation is its own kind of awful.
I can sort of explain the way I feel about the rape, including men raped in prison or men raped in these crimes that have been described by sick and twisted women. It is of course, completely bestial and inhuman and all wrong.
What does bother me is when I read stuff like this: Naomi Wolf’s article about Harold Bloom. This woman is a Yale graduate and most notable, gaining most of her jobs and book contracts, related to her work as an advisor to former President Clinton and VP Al Gore. Both she and Harold Bloom, the professor she accused, are of Jewish ethnicity and both are people who’ve lived “privileged” lives in the sense I doubt either has ever non-willingly missed a meal, sacrificed food money to meet the rent, or had their lights turned off. Neither has probably ever ridden a bus because they did not have a car or access to one. As you can see if you skim the article, big fat old Harold Bloom almost ruined Naomi’s life because he put his “heavy boneless hand” on her thigh when she was a college student in his privileged literature class at Yale (Prof. Bloom has been considered the creator of the American “literary canon” — i.e. the stuff kids have to read in college classes.)
Now I don’t care for Harold Bloom because he’s a pompous self entitled ass who seriously thinks Philip Roth is a great writer and Alice Walker is a terrible one.
That said, shit at least half a dozen of my college professors put their hands of various types on my thigh and several other parts of my body. And as I have stated previously here and elsewhere, one was a lot worse than those horny molesters. He was a sexual predator and rapist who groomed me and purposely got me in a situation where he could incapacitate me and do his rape ritual. He had a rape kit, rape tools, and the worst punishment that ever came to him is he was privately censored and sent to France for 3 years. He was allowed to return to his job. He came to a “bad end” — a very ironic poetic justice end. But that is neither here nor there.
What is “here” is that ID politics people like Naomi Wolf get to have huge articles in NY Magazine (she did catch blowback for this because I’m not the only person who thinks a horny old college teacher putting his hand on a young student’s thigh is not great but is also not “ruined my life” material) while actual crime victims like Cara Knott get a little park memorial where her broken body was found and the fathers of actual crime victims like Cara Knott, end up dying of heart attacks (broken hearts) while tending those memorials, years before their time.
I HATE SELF ENTITLED PEOPLE LIKE NAOMI WOLF and I absolutely loathe people like the editors who continue to feature her ignorant, self-entitled blowhard rants that should be a shame to both men and women. Her most well-known book is called “Vagina.” That is very understandably, what men’s rights advocates make fun of. It’s sad and a pathetic commentary on our culture that our literature was defined for decades by a horny, selfish old fat guy like Harold Bloom, and what women are defined to the public as, is by a woman who thinks that old fat man’s putting his hand on her thigh was a defining life moment rather than just “Prof. Bloom, please do not touch my thigh.”