Susan, I'm not a cold-hearted, mean person. I can see how her inappropriate and insensitive behavior was injurious. These are - look, no mom should ever say that type of thing - It's verbal abuse and harmful to a child, and any decent mom would not have done that. As a teacher, did she make such comments to students? I would hope not--and the reaction of former students shows that she likely was aware that making comments negatively comparing students was highly inappropriate. And yes, it does make it worse that she seems to have been a competent, well-loved teacher, and a parent who was so ineffective and inappropriate with a child in her own home.

There are several layers of pathos in what you said - and it did stand out to me that your memory of the funeral was a guest praising your appearance.

In most cases, children can't choose their parents. I'm awfully sorry your mother was not able to be a better parent to you. Certainly your achievements stand out and I hope for happiness and fulfillment for you in future.