Somehow I just now saw this, Mario. My heart goes out to you! Check what I just wrote about being an empath -- I think that is one place to start. If you are happy in your relationship, don't change it! It's clear you are unhappy in your job, so see what you can do to change that. Remember you can lie flat on your job (i.e. not work hard, just pick up the paycheck). That's supposedly wrong but when being asked to do wrong things? Why hurt yourself just to earn a living?