John, if you look through my profile you will see I am in a happy marriage with a man I adore and respect, and receive the same treatment in return from him. I also — if you look at my pinned article — spent a decade of my life with a man who left my baby by himself to die. Part of what played into that situation was his horrible divorce and custody battle. I stood by him through that, and if I hadn’t been influenced by the situation to give him an opportunity to be a good father to the baby, my baby would be alive today. He would be graduating from high school and even though he had Down Syndrome, he appeared so high functioning that he would have ample opportunity for a happy life.

There are forms of men and women so low that they make everyone suffer. Most of it, not all, does appear instigated by the man. I don’t believe that Alan’s (the baby’s father, my former fiance) ex-wife on her own would ever have done any of the horrific things her husband forced her to do. This man is subhuman and literally the worst human I have ever encountered. I worked with homeless and very poor people for 15 years of my working life, my brother was a multiple felon, and I knew many people in the prison system. This guy was just aeons below all of them put together. There’s no way any woman unless it was maybe like Imelda Marcos or Countess Bathory, could be worse than this subhuman, vile, heinous and sick individual.

I know all about custody battles and a second wife or partner cannot be involved in them. It will only hurt her or children from the second relationship. Being told “no” if you ask someone out hurts. But it is not comparable to being hit in the head with a giant ashtray, dragged off and tied up, raped anally and vaginally, bitten and burned with cigarettes. This was what happened to me and it is not an “isolated incident” that was “my fault.” It was a serial rapist who was protected by the college where his wealthy parents had paid to buy him a professorship.

What woman do you know who can commit this type of violent crime for decades without being stopped? Was Larry Nassar the gymnast abuser a woman? Was Ted Bundy the serial killer and rapist a woman? Was the “Grim Sleeper” who made drawings of the 100 women he raped and murdered a woman? How about that Green River Killer, the Golden State Killer? Richard Rodriguez the Night Stalker? I’m just naming famous killers of the past and they all have one thing in common and it isn’t being a woman. There is one known female serial killer, Aileen Wuornos, and she received the ultimate punishment for her heinous crimes.

Did you read my story about the rape crisis group? What WOMAN locks a child in a shed in their back yard and rapes them when they do not even know what is being done to them? Women do that, John? Really? There’s incels on this article right now because men cannot even tolerate a polite refusal.

I’m married and happily married. What should I do if a man approaches me in a public place and asks me out? Believe it or not, they still do. If I politely say, “I’m married, thank you but no thank you,” in what way is this comparable to what nearly every woman goes through, all the time. While serial murder isn’t common, being treated like trash, beaten, injured, and exploited (sex trafficking) by men is. It isn’t just women unlucky enough to be involved with red pill men — most men are socialized to treat women poorly to “keep them in their place.” They bully them, domineer them, take advantage of them — and now there are young guys who tell young women they should like violent porn and replicate this in the bedroom with them. They think the woman should go over to their house for free, have sex with them, and let them slap, spit on them, and even choke them. All for free, no effort on the man’s part.

And you feel “put upon” because you’re living in end stage capitalism. We are ALL living in that. All humans share this unpleasant and difficult situation.

I’ve gained the self-esteem throughout my life to stand up for myself. I think “Men’s Rights Advocates” should do so as well, but I do NOT stand up for myself at the expense of others. There’s a big, big difference. Human rights should be observed for all. So, if you want me to remove the term “Men’s Rights Advocates” I’m okay with that. But patriarchy is so powerful that men feel “injured” by women having agency in even the smallest ways. And it’s worth thinking about the things everyone has in common and how decent people can best live together. Advocacy hasn’t helped women to reduce instances of rape or violence against them. The only solution to that is direct action and for men who believe they have been wronged, they need to take action on their own behalf as well. I have removed the reference to Men's Rights Advocates because I know the bad situation with custody battles and parental alienation. I didn't do that because I knew how bad it was. And it cost my son his life and I and my daughter so much in so many other ways.