It's not just these incels - it's older men too. We just had an episode here where we live. My cousin came to visit for a week and met one of our neighbors at the pool. From all appearances, he seemed to be an attractive, decent, healthy older man. He was nice to her her and even came (briefly) to a community event where my husband and I were playing music. Red flag on him #1? He wanted her to come over to his place for a drink and it was her last night with us; #2, he came to the community event and though he said he'd lived at our place 18 years, had never been to this before; #3 - after she left, the next day she said he'd contacted her and asked her to MOVE IN with him ... to ... well you guessed it. The old goat.