Member-only story
Is Having Large Breasts a Problem?
They usually don’t speak, even when addressed directly
One time I was talking with this famous writer*. I mean — I was talking with him — but he was deep in thoughtful conversation with my boobs. Unfortunately, it was a one-sided conversation since neither of them said a word in reply.
I’ve given them names. Left boob is “Tiddy” and right boob is “Teddy.”
I think you can see from the above picture that I just took (11–15–21) that I must immediately contact a cosmetic surgeon and schedule an emergency boob job. Tiddy and Teddy are both socially ostracized due to their present state of “penny-in-a-sock” (1) -dom. In this condition, I expect to never experience a man talking to either of them again.
I didn’t always have large breasts. Back in the day when I was still marginally attractive to a few lower-net-worth, unemployed guys who might let me open doors for them and buy them dinner, I was a “B” cup.
Then I got pregnant with my daughter Meredith. At about 6 months I complained bitterly about breast growth (little did I know what was in store) and I made the mistake of doing this at my place of employment, Family Service Assn. in my hometown of Redlands, California.
