If you're this unhappy, it isn't a relationship. For sure, for real. If you look on my profile (I'm quite sure you will not), you will see an article entitled "My Baby Died in My Arms And I Was Accused Of Killing Him." My partner, whom I never married, left our baby by himself to die. That's a type of relationship I will never enter, or consider again. I am now married to a very good and kind man who loves me and cares for me, as I do for him.