I write for other women and I write for people who are interested in learning and who are thoughtful about the world we live in, interested in their quality of life, and interested in living thoughtful and fully-realized lives. I've been writing since I was 5-6 years old. A few years ago, I came across the paper that came with my SAT results in a box of old papers and it said Career Field (Creative Writing), Alternate Career Field (Creative Writing). This is what I have done for most of my life as part or all of my living. I know now, as a mature adult, that I was compelled to write because I did not have the option of expressing my ideas openly at home, at school, or even really among friend groups. I wrote many times to work through trauma. But mostly, I wrote to learn what I knew, to discover things about myself and the world.

In my fiction, I wrote stories that came to me, sometimes through phrases ("His name was Jonny Punkinhead") and sometimes in an entirety. The male characters I wrote were others whose stories came to me. Nearly every female character I ever wrote . . . was an aspect of me. I hadn't realized -

Now, I am looking at video stories of bands popular during the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I see them describing how they created songs on albums that I listened to hundreds of times while coming up. I probably listened to "Tommy" hundreds of times while painting, even while writing during times I didn't even know what an actual story was. I never realized that all the abuse "Tommy" suffered - his wicked Uncle Ernie, seeing his mother participate in a murder, being abused by his cousin, bullied at school - and gee whiz, you NUMBSKULL - he was "deaf dumb and blind" because of it, unable to express himself until he became aware -

I get it now that "Tommy" was Pete Townshend and the whole band got in on the act because pretty much every non-sociopath, non-narcissist feels this and can get it -

I realize now I write for the same reasons Pete did. These are the same reasons any actual creative artist creates. To try to express what it is, inside ourselves, that we cannot express. We just keep trying and trying and some day maybe, we will "get it right."

There's a word cloud and an idea cloud circling this earth and we can all tap into it if we are quiet, still, and listen.