Humans Are Not Baguettes

They don’t call it “bread” for no reason

I get the New York Times newsletter every morning. One day I’m told I’m a vicious, anti-social killer because I failed to double-mask and self-isolate for six months, and … According to NYT last week, after eighteen months of self-isolation in my closet and simultaneous volunteering for and maxing out my donations to Biden-Harris, I can hug family members again. As long as I’m vaccinated and so are they. Twice. By the way COVID is over get back to work.

GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY BAGUETTE

Seriously — one day later look at the happy family! Happy Mother’s Day! — it’s OVER get back to work!!!

You heard me! Get back to work! Whaddaya mean ya don’t want to work 18 hours flipping burgers for $7.25/hour? Ya don’t want to be a server at my delicious vegan chain fast casual restaurant? Excuse me, lazy worker, I funded up for $25 million Series A and I am not about to give up my dream of becoming a billionaire on a bike-through kiosk serving cultured soy foodlike substances meant to be eaten by the masses and save the planet.