Hi Tracy - having "been there done that" myself, you have my complete support and empathy.

Just one of the things I've learned while studying about wellness, nutrition, and current science is - all the things your mom was doing and the things you also did (that I also did - that we all did) were only going to lead to more weight gain and are the likely cause of nearly all difficult midlife and menopause transitions. It's an endless list. To your clinician's bs abt eating x-number of calories - it is WHAT WE EAT not "calories." I don't want to make you read on my timeline, but I discovered where the calorie obsession had come from, how useless calorie counts are, and even that the woman who initially publicized calorie counting (leading to TOPS and Weight Watchers) had come from my area in So Cal and that my grandmother had, without question, bought and read every word of her early 20th century best selling book.