Carol,

Since you started this — do you live with your friends’ families and know every single thing they’re going through? Why would it be that I must physically live with them, while you do not, and yet assert you know more than I do? But more importantly, it was never about you, nor is it about me. It was about what SF Ali had written, something you instructed him not to do, i.e. “shut up.”

It isn’t that this form of rude and hasty address “bothers me and no one else,” it’s that it’s RUDE. RUDE and knowitall and nasty and disrespectful. In this case, here is Ali in the very situation you describe and he responds with his own way and humor and YOU (I do mean that individually) tell him to shut up. That’s what you did.

I specifically asked you regarding the “Ali” and no “hello” or “how are you” or “dear Ali” because as an actual business developer and planner and 15+ year nonprofit executive, I learned that taking extra time and care to address others with respect in written and oral communication (i.e. if one phones, say “Hello” and introduce one’s self first, wait for response) produced the best results in terms of communication and work.

How is addressing people in this manner an “entrepreneurial” value? In this situation, you are addressing a Muslim man and telling him essentially “shut up” and not even bothering to say “Dear Ali” or read and reflect upon what he has written, and see the reasoning behind it and the source of the humor?

How does anything you have written reflect common human values of “listen first, speak only with care,” or “take time to understand the other person’s perspective” or “acknowledge other points of view respectfully even if you disagree?”

I posit that your approach has not shown such values. I posit that it reflects an inflexible worldview and approach which is anathema to what we have been told is entrepreneurial, global, or learning culture. It is certainly anathema to what works in my life, business, writing and classroom. I say this in a practical sense. You’re acting like the person who will only serve customers if they look and act exactly the way you want, and if not, you will order them to behave, and failing that, tell them to get lost.

Your whole approach in this matter is small, mean, stubborn and nasty. I didn’t like seeing Ali treated that way because he’s anything but. I value him.

I value you as well, or would not respond at all, yet — has it ever happened that you may have changed your mind or understood other perspectives?

If so, sharing would be a great step forward.

Namaste.

Please do not lecture a physical empath on empathy. If you’ve seen Brene Brown’s video on empathy

You are not acting like the bear.

An actual empath would not have expressed any of the things you have. But

at least

you wrote

Namaste.

According to Harlan Ellison and my grandmother, “You’ll go far Amy, because you have heart.” Author of 40 books, former exec., Nebula Award nominee, Poor.

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