>>Because the first three are what weak men do. How many strong, competent, successful men engage in that kind of poor behaviour?<<

I've said this many times, Pete. Many, many times. I am happily married and also have good relationships with my ex-husband and other men I've been with during my single years. I have many male colleagues, and recently completed an interview process with two male writing friends. I write about the great men in my life and highlight the different approaches they had to their lives, describing their many forms of excellence.

If you ever have commented or even looked at anything I wrote, I don't think so. But one asshole even said "It sounds like you are bragging about these men" (a male incel) - when I wrote lovingly and caringly about my father, grandfather, and uncle. There are comments from incels on everything I've written that debunks common mythology which is much harder on women than it is on men, Pete. I'm supposed to be a completely invisible, probably deceased, worthless piece of crumpled trash in the official view of society - and the incels!

So, as to your shed and as to the Veterans getting together - I honestly think you'd be justified in restricting the group to just the male vets again. We have women's groups here and they serve (shocker) the same purpose as your men's group. You can include the women at different events or times, which is what we do with our women's groups - we have some couple events, but the group is primarily for friendship between women.

My response to what you have written is you are outlining very similar issues that most of us females have, from the start. We "can't win for losing." It's not a good feeling. And the only answer is to do the best we can do, be the best people we can be - and I am sympathetic to you.