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Are Ugly Guys Worse in Relationships Than Hot Ones?
Lessons from someone who’s been with both
Until I dated and lived with a man who was markedly less attractive than me, I didn’t realize that men who aren’t as good-looking as others could be more abusive than the majority of attractive, fit men would ever dream of being. I even thought the opposite: that a less good-looking man would be happy to be with an attractive partner. I thought he would value me and treat me well.
How utterly wrong I was.
After ten years with someone who didn’t look much different from the cave man in the header of this picture, I had completed the most miserable decade of my adult life. I had lost a baby because his father was too poorly-motivated to understand the baby’s health needs and left him in an unsafe location with his bottle. I had spent countless hours in custody battle courtrooms (not mine — his). I had devoted all of my life, time, creativity, and resources to a miserable, angry, self-centered man whose problems could never have been solved (except by himself — and that never occurred).
Were Alan’s problems a result of his physical unattractiveness? They were certainly closely tied to his anger, abuse, and manipulative personality. Over time, I’ve started to wonder if Alan’s unattractive outside was a reflection of…
